Note: The current story arc began at Strip 320

July 23, 2004

Olympic sex.

I read this article recently and was amazed at how much olympic athletes get laid at the olympics. Had I known, I surely would have started training when I was around 12.

The gist of it is this: You have 10,000 people in a confined place. They're all around 20, all at their sexual peak. The men are all muscular and buff. The women are all lithe, numble [ed: it combines nimbleness and nubility, I'm sure...], and toned. Everyone's really athletic. Everyone's far from home. Everyone's amped up and excited. You couldn't make a more "fuck-me" atmosphere if you tried.

So being a geek who doesn't actually get to *have* sex with anyone lately, I will now analyze the sex other people get to have.

One portion of the article states: "Salt Lake City in 2002 ... 250,000 condoms were handed out, despite the objections of the city�s Mormon leadership."

Wow. Also, earlier in the article, it states that there are about 10,000 people living in the olympic village. This includes athletes, trainers, coaches, etc.

Ok, so check this out: Assume that every athlete who has sex does so safely, responsibly using condoms. Also, while there were surely lots of group encounters, we can approximate it to two people per condom used, because the vast majority of the sex would have been 2 people.

With those assumptions (which are reasonable for approximation purposes), it means that every condom represents 2 people getting laid. So if 10 condoms were used, a total of 20 sexual encounters were had. That may be 10 men and 1 very tired woman, but that would be once each for the men and 10 times for the woman for a total of 20. (Homosexuality convienently averages out if you assume there are equal numbers of homosexual men and women. A male homosexual encounter would use 2 condoms and a female homosexual encounter would use none.)

So, 250,000 condoms means 500,000 sexual encounters... from 10,000 people! That means the AVERAGE athlete at the Salt Lake games had sex FIFTY TIMES during the course of the games. The olympics last 16 days and the olympic village is open for about 3 days in advance and closes the day after. That's 20 days. So the average olympic athlete had sex two to three timer PER DAY for the entire duration of the games.

I shoulda' been an athlete. Damn.

-ATW